There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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