**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
