I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
