I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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