i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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