Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
