i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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