My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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