I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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