i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
