I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
time to smoke my breakfast
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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