the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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