just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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