Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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