This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
