What should our trivia night team be named?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.