Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
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If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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