He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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