Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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