hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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