loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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