make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize