he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
