it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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