Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
