I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
