where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
