does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize