so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
