Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
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Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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