The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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