he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
