I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
