If i come over, it means nothing
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
