oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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