i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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