You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
