It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
