eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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