I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
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