So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
