alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
