You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
