i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
