No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
