Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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