the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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