PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
