Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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