no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
