So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
