So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
