It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
