And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
