Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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