i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
