i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
