oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
