new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
