I can tuck mytits in my pants
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
