I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
