she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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