I think my fart just growled at me.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize