I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize