Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just pee around me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
