dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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