This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
