I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
